Bing Blog

10 things to do in the airport

Airport Chaos

1. Eat. In any good airport, there are many places where you can enjoy a burger, a sandwich, even some decent sushi. Take some time while you eat. If you look around you, you will see many people munching on things while doing sudoku. In fact, if you're not doing sudoku, it may seem to you that you are the only person not doing so. It's possible that those of us who are not into non-stop sudoku are missing something. If, for example, I was into sudoku right at this moment, I wouldn't need to continue this list at all. I could simply stop right here and do sudoku for the next two hours, get on the plane, do sudoku for another six hours, and be home, where I could continue the sudoku game I left behind when I headed out on Friday.

2. Drink. There is no shortage of bars in your average airport. What you drink often depends on what time you are flying, and what time it is at the place to which you are going. When I went to Japan a few years ago, our plane departed at 8:00 AM or so. The lounge was full of Japanese people drinking scotch and smoking. While this seemed unthinkable to me, and I like a good tumbler of scotch as much as the next fellow, it actually was natural to travelers who were returning home to a part of the world where it was then 9:00 o'clock in the evening. Right now, if I chose to be on New York time, I could have a flagon of something strong and brown. Except, you know, I just had waffles.

3. Browse the bookstore. Airport bookstores are fabulous, jammed with all sorts of books, even mine. Those that do NOT have mine in a prominent position, however, need to be instructed to do so. Please refer to the book section of this site to bone up on the books that need to be in the airport bookstore. If they are not there, please go to the person behind the counter and complain. Thanks in advance for your cooperation. After that, you may delve through all the best-sellers, classics and vast trove of business paraphenalia, and then get that new sudoku book you've been looking for.

4. Purchase a piece of electronics. My favorite place to waste an expensive half hour is the store that you're sure to find that's dedicated to all sorts of cables, charging units, and portable DVD players. Just about every time I get to any airport, I realize I have left my cell phone charger someplace else. The newest gizmo I like is made by Eveready, I think. It's a little tube where you can put one battery. On the top, there is a tiny input where you may insert a variety of connection cables whose tips fit a host of phones and BlackBerrys. I just realize I left that at home. I'm going to get another one now.

5. Look at magazines. Hi. I'm back. After purchasing a new charging unit (and almost but not quite a $350 portable DVD player), I stopped by the Hudson's and got Scientific American, Popular Science, Wired, The Economist, and a magazine completely dedicated to sudoku. I'm all set!

6. Fall asleep. Jeez. What time is it? Last thing I remember I was trying to finish a sudoku puzzle in my new magazine.

7. Sit staring blankly into space. It's very restful here in the waiting area. Look at that guy walking by with a suitcase the size of a steamer trunk. I bet he expects to carry that on. People do that now. It's so horrendous to check your stuff that everybody expects to be able to stuff these enormous, wall-sized pieces of luggage into the tiny overhead storage bins.

8. Try to get an upgrade. Damn. Nothing yet. I don't even have an aisle seat. If it doesn't come through soon, I'm going to have to buy food for the flight.

9. Buy food for the flight. If I were going out of Oakland, I'd go for the stuffed turkey dinner. Do I trust the sushi to be good two hours from now? Should I spring for the wrap on the plane?

10. Find a hot zone, a wall plug and a patch of floor. Got 'em! Piece of cake! Only 97 minutes to go! Now what to do... hmm... Ah! I know!

34 Comments Add Comment

Fair article, but waiting at AP's
really sucks no matter how it sugar

stupid. u wasted my time reading this crap.

I agree

What a useless article. If you need to write something, do write stuff that is useful & meaningful. Respect peoples time who read online articles.

I apologize to those whose time I evidently wasted by writing a short article about the experience of having to kill time. But I can take it! Bring it on!!

Don't fret Stanley - obviously these people aren't well-read enough to know before they start reading your blog that you're a SATIRIST in Fortune Magazine. Personally, I've enjoyed wasting many hours of company time reading your blogs the past several weeks. Keep on keeping on

you can exercise by walking around - or even finding a quiet area and doing a bit more physical form of exercise.....

Agreed...this is the most inane article I’ve read in a long time and demonstrates a complete lack of creativity. You forgot:

11. Use the bathroom.
12. Walk to the gate.
13. Check your flight times.

Have you no sanity man! Do you not know the effect killing time has on eternity?!?! All is lost.

Download a movie from a PowerPort and watch it on a PC!.

Hey bingblog;
No apology necessary... The response from the three that really need a life was entertaining enough. Keep up the good work.

obvious stuff man

If these people's time was THAT important, they would have never clicked on an article title "10 things to..." Maybe reading online articles should be added to the list.

As mindless as this article is, thanks for killing 3 minutes for me while waiting in Newark. I travel to Japan twice a month on business, and Australia once a month so I spend plenty of time doing some of the things here. What you left out was airline clubs. What I find myself doing before 14 hour plane rides from hell is eating then having a drink..or three in the President's club. They just really need an iPod with a 30 hour battery . By the way, kinda glad my airport doesn't have your books up front.

add take a walk around the airport lobby, relaxes, prevents dvt, lose weight, stops being angry at the delay, stops you from needless eating and endorphine release may help your longevity

I didn't expect a revolution in preoccupation... I thought it was funny... Take a chill pill people, but yeah, if you don't have time to waste then certainly skip over articles about how to do so...

Hey, I love you guys, even the ones who think I'm inane, but I have to say that anybody with the screen name "the big mad wack" immediately has my attention.

If you actually did #'s 1-5 you would have spent about $862.23 on all of the inflated prices you find at the about 10 things you can do for free? :)

6.Fall sleep?
no way for me!

I thought it was funny... specialy the huge suitcase one... so true.
You could also do some push ups while you are waiting for your flight if you are a health freak.

People watching has to be, by far, my favorite thing to do in the airport. I especially like trying to pick off the people who obviously came 30 minutes before their flight is scheduled to depart and are running through the airport. Once on the plane it is always entertaining to see the heavy set man or women come down the aisle and watch the look of 'oh god are they sitting next to me' come across other passengers faces. I was recently flying to Arizona and found myself on an airline that uses an A B C section seating system. there were no assigned seats and they board all in A section first then B... Anyway, I found it very amusing that people are willing to stand in line for over 2 hours to make sure they get the 'good' seat on the plane, as if one exists. It is interesting to see how they deal with the bathroom dilemma while in line as well.

To the people complaining about the blog. You have to be kidding me. You chose to come here and obviously continue through the entry. It is easy to assess whether you will be interested in the blog entry or not. If not then move on. Very easy. I especially like how they think it was a waste of time to read the blog and then proceed to waste more time making a comment. *shrug*

Thanks, Gonzales of Los Alamos, NM. First, for your people watching. And then for your shrug. Sometimes a shrug is worth a thousand words.

Bing - you are hysterically funny. Great blog topic too. I just came back from Vegas and Hudson News is a fav stop for magazines I normally don't buy, your books (when in stock) and the illicit Milky Way bar and water. Love you.

Wasting time on activities such as reading this blog creates new neural connections increasing intelligence, lowers stress levels which increases health and develops ones' sense of humour which damn well just about improves every aspect of a persons life. So thanks to the bingblog heres to a more fruitful, enjoyable and much longer life with a lot more time to waste.

Boeing predicts that air passengers prefer to fly from point to point. But I don't mind spending sometime in the transit airport. There is so much to do...

Those were the most stupidist things to do in the airport, it didn't help at all . So thank you for that non-helpful advice,I think you should seriously do more research befor giving advice.

ah i absolutely HATE waiting for the plane but even more so being in the plane any suggestions of how not to get sick on the plane? and/or brands of sleeping pills?

Or you can bring your wife or husban do a little show in a private place do you know what i mean.

You are all stupid!!! This was a great article and it helped me and my boyfriend relax in the airport. Since it was our first time going on an airplane, I did everything he said and Oh My Goodness they helped so much... So thank you very much!!! It helped me a lot!!! And do not listen to all these people!!! they do not know anything!!!

great advice

the ironic thing is... im reading this while waiting in the Florida airport for my flight...

holy crap im in the florida airport too!

Thanks for the tip verry usfull (I ALREADY KNEW THAT!!!! )

I am heading to YYC tonight, and you just saved my life!
Thank you so much!