Bing Blog

New endorsements for Tiger?

Tiger in Vegas

One by one, Tiger's endorsements are disappearing, going the way of his squeaky-clean image. It's like they used to say about IBM, updated: Nobody will ever get fired for firing Tiger Woods.  It's just too easy. It's the swiftest road to moral superiority at this point. Particularly now that Tiger has taken the advice of his stupid advisors and quit his game for an indefinite period of time, thereby ensuring that he can spend 100% being nothing more than a scandalous embarrassment to his friends, fans and family.

I personally feel that there are, or should be, several great companies that should move into the gap left by all those who have booted Tiger Woods from their endorsement roster, and snap up the greatest golfer who ever lived (even though he is clearly not the greatest person who ever lived). Companies that come to mind include:

  • The City of Las Vegas: The image of Tiger saying "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" would be incredibly powerful.
  • Stanley: Who better to be a spokesman for power tools?
  • Harley-Davidson: Why not appeal to the outlaw in every man?
  • Lawyers.com: Possible tag line: "Take it from me. You never know when you're going to need a good attorney." Mrs. Woods could then step into the shot to add, "And I like them too!"
  • Eli Lilly: The pharmacological solutions to various mood and sleep disorders is virtually unlimited, and it's hard to think of a person who better represents the occasional psychological pain a person can get themselves into.

The key to the problem is pretty clear. Tiger simply has to find products and services whose customer base doesn't care about his lifestyle and questionable ethical choices. I haven't even begun to consider the obvious candidates that may be found in any CVS or liquor store. After all, this is a family destination.

56 Comments Add Comment

Not sure I agree with the Vegas sponsor, as apparently what happened with Tiger didn't stay with Tiger...

"Come to Vegas, someday all your secrets will be known"....not too re-assuring.

You forgot to mention

AshleyMadison.com

Trojan Condoms

disposable cell phones

For the record, it was Arthur Andersen not Arthur Anderson. If you can't spell it, maybe you should reconsider your role as a journalist before you comment on other industries.

LET HIM WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE

Check your facts before you start ranting. Accenture changed their name in 2001 because the completely seperate legal entity - Arthur Anderson, did not want Accenture using the name "Anderson Consulting", which it had adopted in the late 80's when the two legally split. Accenture had nothing to do with Enron.

"Yet just a few years ago, this Accenture was none other than Arthur Anderson". I'm not sure what a few years ago means to the author of this, but Accenture, formerly Anderson Consulting, has not been part of Arthur Anderson since 1989....thats more than a few years to this reader.

REALLY?

Too bad Tiger can't change his name to Cheetah Iron. I totally forgot accensure was arthur andersen.

I love this! I never liked Tiger. Perhaps because I can't stand golf but this is well stated. I think the best option would be for Las Vegas which is currently undergoing bad decisions to join forces. Maybe the phrase fitting such a relationship could be "Las Vegas, there's a hole for everyone!"...LOL

I think that people are just hypocrites. Everybody cheats, and people get divorced all the time. So what's the big deal?
Tiger is the greatest golf player in the World, and him cheating on his wife is his personal thing. Companies didn't use him for commercials because he was a moral role model, but because he was/is a great sportsman. Abandoning him now is just a superficial exercise of morality, and a quick way for gossip reporters to get some cash.

Get your facts strait - Accenture was Andersen Consulting, not Arthur Andersen - AC was a sepearte entity with a seperate CEO from AA - in fact a legal split was finalized before the Enron debacle and in the works years before.

How could you forget Ashley Madison, the adultery site? As their slogan goes "Life is too short...have an affair."

It is ironic that Tiger Woods, the paragon of privacy, the same fellow who fired his first caddy for being too talkative, should dissemble is such a profound way. With his cadre of renouned advisers and handlers this entire episode should never have left that early morning lawn. Yet here we are with Brand Tiger a shambles. Just as he caused a rebirth of golf as an every-man sport, doubled TV ratings when he played, and made millionaires of dozens of players, his destruction will likely reverse the process. Watch all those tournements with million dollar winners shrink once the Tiger hiatus sets in.

Worse, I don't know how Tiger will return to the tour. He may elect to retire and enjoy his wealth behind whatever gated community he chooses. (After his romance with the hydrant and tree, when all his neighbors who value privacy so much chose to call in the TV trucks, his confidence in gates and neighbors may have dwindled.) If that happens, we'll all lose because, when the fog of nonsense finally drifts away, we'll have lost a piece of history. The greatest golfer of all time will have stopped short. Then, we'll remember that it was Tiger the golfer that excited us. In that context, all those other distractions were meaningless.

Accenture existed and was spun off from Andersen well before the Enron debacle...

Looks like you really did your research… Arthur Anderson was an accounting firm involved in the Enron mess. Anderson Consulting (which later became Accenture) was a totally separate company.

This is bunk. Andersen Consulting and Arthur Anderson were separately managed subsidiaries of Andersen Worldwide as far back as 1989. They had separate groups partners, they re4ally did not get along and they ended up competing against each other with dueling consultants.

They formally split in late 1999 and went public in 2001. Enron did not happen until 2002.

Accenture has never been an accounting company, does not do financial audits and has no connection to the Enron scandal. Any insinuation to the contrary is ridiculous.

Trojan condoms...

or energy drinks

An upscale hotel chain:

Hi I'm Tiger Woods, and George Washington's got nothing on me.

The conversion van industry:

If Tige's van is rockin,
don't come a knockin!

Golfclub covers:

Big dollar head?
Do what Tiger does,
Wrap it in these.

Agree with Bing; I had the same reaction when I did learn that Accenture dumped Tiger, how hypocritical!!

As for Tiger; I do no care about his personal life, I still admire him as an athlete, he is just a human being and what is happening to him now ought to stay at home, between he and his family. 99.99% of us would have done the same!! Power is such an aphrodisiac!!!I know I have been there and done that and I'm just a speckle compared to Tiger!!!! His only mistake was fail to cover his Tiger tracks,,,grrr!!!!

Additionally, Trojan would be a perfect endorsement.

Accenture split from Arthur Anderson in 1989 and became Anderson Consulting long before the Enron scandal. Anderson Consulting changed it's name to Accenture in the beginning of 2001 before Enron announced it's bankruptcy. Do your research next time.

Provocative premise but get your facts straight:

- Accenture was previously named Andersen Consulting, not Arthur Andersen. Arthur Andersen is the company involved with the Enron scandal.

- Andersen Consulting and Arthur Andersen were separate companies before and after the Enron scandal.

- Andersen Consulting officially split off from the joint holding company, Andersen Worldwide, and renamed the new company to Accenture before the Arthur Andersen & Enron scandal.

He should be the NEW "BOB" for Enzyte, I can see the tag line now-When Tiger needs more WOOD he reachs for his Enzyte.

There's also the other male enhancement/ED stuff he couldpitch for.

It GOLD JERRY-GOLD!

Accenture was a separate legal entity from the Accounting firm Arther Andersen in August 2000 and changed its name to Accenture on Jan 1, 2001. Both of these occurred before the Enron scandal. A quick visit over to Accenture's website could verify. I guess you never let facts get in the way of a good story.

Please get your facts straight. Accenture was at one time part of Arthur Anderson, but not in the accounting area. Arthur Anderson Consulting broke away from Arthur Anderson (via a court judgement) and became Accenture, effective Jan. 1, 2001. Arthur Anderson Accounting fell after Accenture had broken away. Accenture had nothing to do with the Enron/Arthur Anderson scandal.

you forgot mastercard:
lawyer fees - 65000$
mistresses - 3.5 million
wife - half of everything you own

golfing a perfect round - priceless

somethings money can't buy, for everything else, there's mastercard.

He should be a spokesperson for any one of the condom companies.

I thought Accenture used to be Andersen Consulting. No?

FYI - Accenture (formerly Andersen Consulting) split from Arthur Andersen in 1989 and was renamed in 1/1/01, far ahead of Arthur Andersen's Enron scandal.

Should we ignore the obvious Durex endorsement "Durex the only brand Tiger trusts to cover him while he plays 18 holes"

NASA

Ground Control: Tige, you're a go for orbital insertion.

Tiger: Orbital Insertion. Roger that!

To Major Tom:

Ground Control to Mrs. Woods,
Ground Control to Mrs. Woods,
Put that golfclub down,
Before you kill his ass.

This is ground conrol to Mrs. Woods,
He's stepping through the door,
and he's walking in a most peculiar way.
No friend with him,
your turn to play.

Here am I sitting in my chateau,
mega, guigundo bucks!
Hubby's black and blue,
and Accenture quit him too.

(Allegedly)

Still no sign of Paris Hilton?? She's got to be involved in this somehow!

Winnipeg Chris,

Funny marvelous stuff and thank you for native son Burton Cummings,the rest of the Guess Who and BTO. Canadian Rock to the world.

By the way, what's the temp in Manitoba today?

Man, those Accenture groupies have no sense of humor. This is what I get for not checking in daily -- by the time I get here, you've already deleted the reference to Accenture and Arthur Andersen from your original post (I'm assuming), and so I start reading these comments and start wondering what everybody's talking about.

Got a kick out of Paul channeling David Bowie.

How about endorsing Trojan condoms for safe sex...

Score at Perkins!

He could replace that smiling Bob character,,with a line like,,Wanna know what makes me a Tiger.

Miami Paul,
Damn cold! that's a knee jerk response from winnipeg. Its not too bad -9 celcius today, it was -34 celcius yesterday though. Winnipeg is a bit like a pregnant wife, you love her because of all yor history, but she's one moody mistress

Thanks for the brotherly love from down south, you guys 'aint to bad yourselves. your beer could use a little work though

Winnipeg Chris,

Minus 29F is cold in anybody's country.

Our beer is getting better, especially at the so called "craft" brewers.

As for the mega brewers, I would agree with your contention.

Oh, and that trio from Toronto is a pretty damn good band.

Tiger being a spokesperson for Verizon would work: "Hey Tiger, whatcha doin?" with a wink and a smile he says, "Just textin'"

the spokeperson for Exxon Mobil would work as well...."Is there a Tiger in YOUR tank?"

In my view An enterprising person is one who comes across a pile of scrap metal and sees the making of a wonderful sculpture. An enterprising person is one who drives through an old decrepit part of town and sees a new housing development. An enterprising person is one who sees opportunity in all areas of life. To be enterprising is to keep your eyes open and your mind active. It's to be skilled enough, confident enough, creative enough and disciplined enough to seize opportunities that present themselves... regardless of the economy.

www.onlineuniversalwork.com

Bing, I miss you from CNN money! Maybe I'm retarded, but I can't find the link to your blog anymore. I have no clue how I found it this time. Anyway, who cares about Accenture. I can't believe ppl got so riled up. Current or Ex-employees, perhaps?

Juanita, it's easy. Go to stanleybing.com. I'm here.

Tiger can't be a spokesperson for Trojan as he didn't use the product.
Feces happens and, as a business owner, I would not sucCUMb to the pressures of special interest groups and would still sponsor him.
Butt only if he was on the course.

Tiger´s art has nothing to do with his (quite normal behaviour) The trouble is not the man but the chicks going after the money. So to all of you pittyful hypocrates.... DROP DEAD... Who needs you anyway ?? If you wanna make money with my "trade".. fine.. pay me.. else stay away.. and play your own GOD in your own back yard..
From the GripeVine.... & Donah..//

I AM A FAMILY PERSON AND HIGHLY RESENT THE STATMENT MADE. LET'S SEE HOW YOU FEEL WHEN THE PEOPLE YOU ARE REFERING TWO AND THE ONE'S YOU DON'T COUNT STOP BUYING YOUR SH**

how about a commercial for Trojan condoms?

Don't quit your day job, because this is definitely not funny! You're ignorant just as most of these know it all, living in a glass house individuals. Of all the things going on, people are still blasting Tiger Woods, sad!

Hey, Donnie. I don't think I was blasting Tiger. I think he had some very bad PR advice... and a rampaging interest in hookers. I also feel sorry for anybody caught in the gossip mill. And if what I hear is true, he's about to show up for the Masters with a new face. So we'll see.

SO MANY PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES LEAVE THE GUY ALONE MOST OF YOU WISH YOU COULD PLAY GOLF OR ANYTHING ELSE AS GOOD AS HIM.THE GIRLS WERE ALL WHORES ANYWAY AND DONT FORGET A RAISING COCK HAS NO CONCIENCE

Moderate this:
Whom cares???

why not jump in with tiger and get behind him with a couple of good trojan condemn ads? that would really be a good fit.

Wow not only are you way out there but an idiot. This happens every day to a lot of people they should just be left alone to deal with. After all it is Golf that most of us care to watch him play

It would be great to catch all the nitwits on here doing something regrettable and airing it all over the media for everyone to prattle on about. They probably wouldn't handle it 1/10th as well as Tiger Woods. As for Tiger's fair-weather sponsors, only time will tell if their decision will come back and bite them in the buttocks. Let's hope it does...with really big teeth.

Tiger ought to partenr up with Toyota. Logo: "Can I get a brake (break)?!?"

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