Bing Blog

Please, Tiger, don't apologize any more!

Tiger Hush

Dear Tiger,

I hear you're going to apologize today. Again. After having the crap beaten out of you both literally and figuratively by a wide variety of characters both known and unknown to you, after having been righteously punished both in public and in private for your many genuine miscreancies, after having gotten what was coming to you in a way that none of us would wish for ourselves, you are once again going to apologize.

Don't. And if you have already? Please don't do it again.

This nation is an apology factory. People are held up to impossible standards, or even possible ones, and fail to live up to them, as people will, and then the apology machine goes into action and will not shut down again until it runs its course, or is denied of fuel. You are simply giving it more fuel.

This is because you are listening to the two ministers who tend the machine and keep it running: PR people and the Press.

PR people like apologies because they make their living with them. They craft them. They issue them. They even believe in their power. But they are wrong. Unless one has run over a puppy intentionally with a Hummer, all that an apology does is get the machine in gear. An apology simply begins the process of your destruction. The list of those who have apologized and whose apologies have been found to be insufficient is long and ignominious. The cycle begins with the apology. It ends with your obliteration. Ask John Edwards if he's happy he went on ABC and apologized for his stupidity. Perhaps he will tell you the truth, for a change.

The second group who would love to eat your apology is the Press. That is because they, too, are in the apology business. They take the apology. Turn it around in their paws. Bat it around for a while. Eat it. Digest it. Then they want more. What? No further apologies? But we're still hungry! And we have more questions that should lead to more apologies! You know where that ends, Tiger. They'll be shouting from the galleries about all the things you want to leave behind you. They'll be hitting you with big fat divots when you are prepared for roses.

I hope I'm not too late. You're scheduled to apologize again this morning. Perhaps you won't get this advice until it's too late. If so, you know what? It's still good. You can't unapologize now. But let that be it, forever. Answer no more questions. Say you're sorry, if necessary, to the one person to whom you genuinely owe an apology. No, it's not Barbara Walters.

Be quiet. Do what you do well. Let your club do the talking. Perhaps that's an unfortunate choice of words, but you know what I mean. You don't owe us anything more than a incendiary round at the Masters. I hope you have one, or at least one you have nothing to apologize for.

60 Comments Add Comment

I agree- who REALLY cares about his problems, not I for one. I am more worried about my Bro gettin' shot in Bagdad.

Best article I've read on this subject.

I couldn't agree more!

Amen...nicely said.

Cry "havoc", and let slip the dogs of late night chat shows, pompous editorials and sycophantic columns!

I think Tiger being punished by anyone other than his wife is insane...he owes me nothing and I am still a fan. Let the man golf and work things out with his family privately. End of story.

And what about forgiveness? I can't forget the families (devout Christians) of slain victims in one of those high school shooting rampages appearing on television the very same day proclaiming their forgiveness of the shooters. This was probably while the shooters' parents were lawyering up and contriving excuses for themselves and the kiddos who casually helped themselves to the family gun closet.

There seems to be an unlimited supply of forgiveness for the unrepentant. But a tearful and apologetic Tiger Woods? I'm thinking not so much.

I totally agree....the only one Tiger has to "work things out with" is Elin.
Good luck and let's see the world's best player back on the golf course :)

"People are held up to impossible standards"? Is it an impossible standard to NOT cheat on your spouse? I do not know about you, but I believe it is the normal to not cheat and one should apologize, at least to the spouse if anything, after cheating. Worse, he did not just have one affair. Come on, live up to the standards. A moral standard. I don't care if his hormones are raging; he is a grown adult, not some teenager. Learn some self control. Of course if you don't and you are a celebraty, expect to be judged by the public's eye.

I believe, dear Anonymous, that I also added, "and even possible ones."

AMEN. CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAS MORE SIGNIFICANCE TO OUR WELL-BEING?? LET THE MAN LIVE HIS LIFE.

Thank you he really needs to stop apologizing. I read CNN like blog post on this same topic. I think it was at NFL blog topic tiger woods and it made a lot of the same valid points that I am glad you mentioned because he is a great golfer and thats what we need to recognize the human for.

If I were Tiger I would get up there and say, "Yeah, I screwed up. Now get over it and leave me the hell alone. I'm a golfer, not your preacher. I'm not your kid or your role model. I'm a human that makes mistakes just like everyone else. See you at the Masters. Peace, Tiger out."

I care. And, I couldn't care less about the sport of golf. I care about honor and doing what's right by others. I couldn't care less about Tiger Woods. I care about role modeling, particularly when you are being paid un-earthly sums of money to be a good role model. And, I couldn't care less about Nike's brand or Accenture's services (btw: does anyone really know what Accenture does?) Tiger owes the public more than apology. He owes us a well executed exit strategy from the public stage.

As my Grandma always said, "Actions speak louder than words"

Four words describes this well,Grid ,Fame ,Money and Human nature.Tiger and the mistresses followed that all.Tiger still wants it but he demonstrates like the media puppet.He shouldn't owe nobody nothing may be his wife and even that who knows how much a married spouse would not be aware of his or her's actions away /outside of a home.
People like tiger for the quality of a performance he produces ,that's it. It's nobody's business what he does in his private life,I don't think he owes anybody anything.Simple as is .

I never really thought about it like that but I 100% agree. The media is the only one that wants this so they can tear it apart and ask for more. He owes me nothing. I'm with you Bing!

Let me be the first to disagree. Tiger owes his first apology to his wife of course, but there are literally millions of young people, especially blacks who think he hung the moon. He let them down big time. Did he ask for this hero worship? No. But he got it and he showed my son and millions of others that a hero can cheat on his wife as much as he wants. My son deserves Tiger's apology.

He doesn't owe anyone an apology except his WIFE, and I seriously doubt an apology to her would do any real good at this point.
Go play Golf and forget the public, this ISN"T their business.

Wonderful. This is better Tiger and his wife. He did not cheat in golf so why is this any of our business. Perhaps Tiger should just refer the press to your blog!

New Flash..Tiger apologizes for apologizing. In fact he is now entering a clinic to help correct his dependancy on insincere apologies.

We at Wacko News apologize for this brief interuption aimed at educating your sorry ass about things you really don't give a dam about, but need to know when you gossip at coffee break.

Dear Bing,

Please stop writing advices for other people how to behave. Better control what you really can, yourself.

Hey, Bang, you should really stop telling people who give advice not to give advice.

Let the guy say what he has to say...afterall 99 percent of what the media has written and what everyone has commented on is heresay.

Too many hypocrits out there. People are only as faithful as their options...remember that. He ha$ many option$.

Succinctly and well said. It struck a chord with me to hear how public apologies are the currency of the media nowadays. Crafted by PR advisors for those who will eat them up and roll in them like pigs in their own excrement. Be quiet...what sound advice.

Just get back to golfing. I couln't care less about your personal indiscretions. all the best.

Ain't nobody's business but his own, & his wife's.

Has no bearing on how well he plays golf.

I wouldn't care if my dentist was foolin' around; he could still fill teeth just as well.

So, why do people care about Woods?

Beats me.

Bing,

Here's something that's sure to get me into plenty of hot water with your female readers: Why not have both Tiger and his wife apologize in public? Is this only Tiger's problem? Sure, he has a high sex drive. So do 99.9% of the men in the world. Why don't wives shoulder a little of the blame for not taking "good enough care" of their husbands? Why is it always the man's fault. And why are men so afraid to address this issue with other men? There are many husbands out there who "go hungry" when there is plenty of food at home, under lock and key.
Is there anyone out there who will back me on this? C'mon, guys. Darn it, speak up.

Tiger shouldn't spend too many apologies on this incident, he's still a young man. Who knows what the future holds for him?

Apologies, like the dollar, are subjected to inflationary trends; the more you do the cheaper they get!

He may live to be a hundred. By that time who will care?

It's not about getting what's coming to him. It's not about our nation or society or PR and Press. It's about doing what is right. The right thing to do is apologize. Come on Bing - there is more to this life than playing good golf.

Hey, Derek, of course you're right, it's about doing the right thing, and that does not mean going on TV to indulge the carrion birds in public. Did you see that spectacle? Is anybody satisfied by it? You already hear the reporters who are angry they weren't invited, and the others who feel like he didn't say the right thing, and so on and so forth and blah blah blah. He needs to do a lot of things to set his poor self right -- but doing what he did today was not among them. It hurt him. And now it's far from over.

i believe Tiger only has his family to apologize/not apologize to. let the guy move on. he owes you and me nothing!

What a goofy show this morning. I was hoping he'd come out and say, "I'm not going to apologize for who I am, but I am going to write Elin a big fat cheque then move on and knock the stuffing out of that damn ball, and then have a great time celebrating afterwards."

Alas, more months ahead of angst and denial and depriving us of the best ever to play the game.

Woods was never a confection. Those believing such culinary myth making deserve to listen to the served cold tripe put forth by the unclothed Emperor and his minions.

Tiger got bad advice on the need for an apology and on how best to move forward. The WWHD (What Would Heff Do)option would have been to file for divorce (like he's going to sleep with his eyes open anytime soon) and contractually secure amicable access to the kids via yearly and increasing payments. Next, get a vasectomy live on The Today Show. Finally, do whatever, whenever and however without worrying about the public's response. Caging the Tiger served no purpose other than to line the PR pockets and extend a awkward relationship.

For TIm in CA,
Are you serious!? All of womankind should unleash an unholy tirade against your remark.

'Why don’t wives shoulder a little of the blame for not taking “good enough care” of their husbands?'

Holy Cow - - there's not enough room for a tirade. I mean - does your wife read this blog?

Hey, Kimmee, don't blame me. I just publish these guys, as long as they're not totally obscene or nasty to me personally.

Do you think this woman he was with today is really his therapist?:

http://peacemoonbeam.typepad.com/scooters_report/2010/02/tiger-im-sorry....

Tiger owes horndogs everywhere an apology for having apologized.

Kimmee in Cleveland,
The last I heard it took two people to make a marriage work, both in bed and out. And I can't tell you how many men I know who are dissatisfied with their marriages because things are stale in the bedroom. Maybe Tiger was one of them. Now, that's not to say that men aren't equally responsible for this problem. I'm just saying that sex is very important to most men, especially when they young and aren't getting enough. I think Tiger Woods is just the tip of the unfaithful husbands iceberg, so to speak. And as I mentioned earlier, men are afraid to talk about it because of the wrath that comes down from women. Your comment "does your wife read this blog" pretty much says it all.
Don't wives want to know when their husbands are unsatisfied, or does that line of communication only run one way?
By the way, no, my wife doesn't read this blog. She passed away five years ago.

Stan,
My apologies - I certainly don't hold you accountable for comments made here. But I'm still wondering about Tim in CA.

I'm thinking (hoping) that maybe-just-maybe he was teasing. Dangling a worm out there hoping someone would bite!!

Tiger WHO?

Is Bang the past tense of Bing?

Wait – weren't Bing and Bang the famous Siamese Twins?

Holding that apology conference was a pretty-balls out thing to do. Now it's time for him to tuck 'em back in. Capital column, Bing.

Tim of McKinleyville, indeed....you are completely correct in your post...we're sexually starving out here, and our wives wonder why we cheat. It's true, and they can't handle the truth! Tiger is at least as much a victim as his wife.

You guys are nuts.

I don't get the part of people using him as a role model for kids. Teach your kids what's good for them and not to follow somebody they have never met and go on blaming the guy if he screws up. Leave him alone and love him for the game of golf. Don't look upon him past 18th hole. Go Tiger.

PS: If you are buying stuff because some celebrity endorses it, that's the stupidest thing you have done to yourself. Like, what Tiger has to do with gillette and your beard.

That's why you love us Bing!

Great post. Tiger's apology is as effective as women in certain parts of the world currently issuing press releases that they deserve to be publicly flogged for adultry.

I'm a retired clergyman who has also played golf for 55 years. The aspect I love of Tiger's game is not a drive straight down the middle or a wedge to three inches, but how he's so adept at getting out of trouble. Any of you who golf know how important it is to put the bad shots behind you and play on. Within his faith, by his apology and his request for forgivness, Tiger's done the right thing by Elin, his children, his family. Let him finish his tewlve step program and then, play on and take your next shot. GO TIGER!

Tampa Bob...getting out of trouble with a bad lay on the course is a whole lot different than getting out of trouble with your wife for a bad lay with a bimbo in a motel room. This is about damage control to recapture his marketability.

He's gonna need more help than a good wedge shot and the invisible sky wizard might be able to provide on this one.

In the words of President Obama-
Forgive and forget!
Bernard L. Madoff
www.bernard-madoff-scam.blogspot dot com

"Let your club do the talking". That's exactly what led up to this current fiasco--his Nine Iron..........

Bottom line: Real men don't apologize for anything, inwardly they may feel some remorse for some things, but they never apologize and the vast majority of them don't play golf either.

Who ever gave Eldrich the nick name Tiger may want to revise it to "Cut" Wood.

I personally have nothing against golf or garden hockey as some of my friends call it...a man should practise swinging some kind of club every once in a while..it's in our nature to want to smack things with a club...

In olden days when real men gathered at night to talk of the days events which included club swinging, they did not include apologizing as part of the conversation, anyone who did would be sent to sit with the women at their camp fire...real men don't apologize.

I'm sick of hearing about it. Honestly, who cares? They've already skewered him through every orifice possible. They should leave the idiot alone.

Alicia, you have articulated the mood of all sensible Americans. Thank you from all of us. That said, it still is pretty interesting, isn't it. I find myself thinking about it a lot. The whole apology thing.

Yes, Bing....and you need to apologize for thinking about it. :)

Apologize: To make a formal defense in speech or writing.

Grovel: To wallow in what is low or contemptible. To debase oneself in a servile fashion.

Isn't it amazing how Webster can isolate differences in definitions?

Funny how contracts can coerce behavior; especially, for the big bucks enforsements!

oh wow, apologies are what make us human and keep us iin touch with reality. it takes the wind out of our sails when we take things for granted. if he is in the wrong then he should apologize. are you narcissistic just like tiger?

yes i agree he only has his family to apologize and work things out to. however, he made the choice to disrespect and humiliate her in front of the world.... maybe its his turn to be humiliated since it was his choice, by apologizing to her and his family in FRONT OF THE WORLD. what you are saying is it is ok for him to exploit his family but he gets to hide in private to work things out?? maybe he should have done that in the first place? and yes golf, but i think he needs to work on his family first. he owes us no apologies nor does he owe us being at the golf tournaments. he is there for our mere entertainment while his family suffers at home. how about we dont need him to perform for US and let him work his family problems out at home. wow total double standard.

RELATED THINGS