Bing Blog

Things I Don't Care About: 2007

Britney Spears

We live in a world where our attention is divided among an enormous variety of effluvious material. Some of it really is important. Most of it is not. And yet, by noon every day I can feel my brain exploding with junk in which I really ought to have no interest, permanently. How much better off I would be if my brain were emptied of this extraneous bushwah! Out! Out, I tell you! But seriously. I thought I would take a moment to share with you a partial list of subjects that I've decided I have no need for at this time. Please take a look and then let me know what YOU don't care about. Perhaps we'll find a core curriculum of nonsense we can all renounce so we can move on to other things, like EBITDA for the quarter, or what we're having for lunch or, since it is now after lunch, dinner. Unless you're on the West Coast, in which case, lunch.

Things I Don't Care About Today:

  • Reese getting revenge on Ryan with Jake
  • Larry is father of Anna's baby
  • Beyonce is slim for summer
  • Scarlett has stolen Jessica's man again
  • Marcia Cross has twins at age 44 and feels "so lucky"
  • Katie finally storms out on Tom, unless they're having another baby
  • Britney is thin again
  • Angelina has walked out and dumped the kids, unless she hasn't, in which case Brad is possibly rushing to have a tropical wedding to save the marriage. Either way.
  • Paul Abdul drunk in church?
  • Anything about liposuction on anybody I don't know personally, except maybe Star Jones, which you'll have to admit is pretty remarkable.
  • Kenny Chesney, at this point in time
  • J.Lo and Marc split!
  • Anything about Sanjaya
  • The new crop of zins coming out of California
  • Anybody moving my cheese. They can have my cheese if they want it.
  • Any argument for the benefits of outsourcing
  • New digital solutions to analog problems

That's enough for now.  You can let me know if you agree with any of this, and even if you don't, although if you don't I'm far less interested. Better still, why not join the community of like-minded people who are sick of all this input, and care enough to engage in a policy of committed, creative ignorance?

 

3 Comments Add Comment

I don't care about your list as well as these things:
-Don Imus
-Attn General Gonzales saving his job
-Donkeys appearing in Texas courts
-Jack Abramoff and anyone who is being inestigated because they're associated with him
-Same sex marriage anywhere anytime
-Steve Jobs next big idea
-2008 Elections
Of course there's more but this is all I can think of that I don't care right now. Thinking anyfurther on the topic would send me into some kind of logic tailspin that would have me crying and that's hard to explain to my sales team.

I don't care about the items on your list, nor do I care about the following.
-Anything that anyone in Hollywood thinks about gun control laws
-Anything that any actor says to his daughter (and later tries to explain away)
-Anything that Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, or Don Imus says at all
This list could go on forever but that is enough for now, if you care.

My additions to the list:
- Anyone telling us how much more stable Iraq is with the surge
- Anything Bush or Cheney say about Iraq their truth index is near zero
- Dire global warming news since almost no nation has any intention doing anything that takes any real sacrifice
- How real estate is going to bounce back any minute
- Anything from high-profile dissemblers and egoists Attorney General Gonzalez, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Condi Rice, any official in Iraq, Wolfowitz, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Don Imus, Rush Limbaugh, and Donald Trump

RELATED THINGS